Tuesday Thoughts

Saturday was rainy but I decided I really needed to take a long walk outdoors anyway. After all, I had on my rain gear from our farmer's market run (too soon the market will move indoors and my back gate will no longer be the entrance into fresh vegetable paradise). And as I always told my son when he moved to Boston, having the right outerwear is the key to being able to cope with the weather.

Anyway, it wasn't even raining hard. Just a slow, straight down rain, no wind, and it was warm.

Walking in the rain requires a particular kind of attentiveness. Wet leaves are slippery. Some puddles are too deep to ignore. So you have to watch where you are going.

I found that what I liked best was listening to the somewhat muffled sounds echoing around inside my hood while I walked with my eyes more or less always on the ground around me. The crowd from the football game a street or two over was cheering in between the announcer's announcements. Shouts of joy alternated with sighs of being let down. The rain was making a gentle showering sound, punctuated by definite drips off trees onto car hoods and into puddles. I just let myself listen.

At one point, I wondered about the time (waiting for my FitBit to buzz on my arm to say I'd met my goal) and felt the usual anxiety. Do I really have time for this? Shouldn't I hurry home to cook lunch or do some chores? Are there emails to look at from the office? Isn't there something I am supposed to be doing?

But then I made myself stop. Stop! Stop! Just keep listening, I told those nagging voices in my head. I am doing something right now! I do not need to be thinking about doing other things. I just need to be present to what I am doing now.

And this is the crux of the matter. Being present to what I am doing now. Understanding that what I am doing now is doing something, and letting go of judgment about that. There's always plenty to do. Sometimes just listening to rain dripping into puddles is what I need to be doing. That's more than OK. It's essential.