Well, here I am a few days later, trying not to feel as if I have totally failed in my Lenten discipline. Ironically, or probably not ironically now that I think about it, today's essay and question are about work and worth.

I have found these essays and questions to be profoundly on point for me this year, pointing to areas in which I feel I have some real work to do. Today's question, "By what measuring stick do you gauge your worth and the worth of others?" makes me very uncomfortable. I tend to gauge my worth by impossible standards. Perfect or total loser are my main categories. Just right or totally missing the mark. Great or awful. Others do not get this treatment from me, at least not to these extremes. I reserve my worst judgments for myself.

The fact that it is Thursday night and I haven't posted since Monday reinforces this. I have missed the mark. Again. Or maybe I am just continually missing the mark.

These are lies, of course. I am human as we all are and I sometimes miss the mark and sometimes I am great and many times I am just doing the best I can and that's good enough. I am good enough and that is a perfectly fine thing to be.

I know I am not the only person who treats herself this way. Some days I do better than others. I expect we all do.

Anyway, instead of a picture about how measure myself, I thought I'd just treat all of us to a cute baby duck. So here it is:


Perpetua said…
No you're not the only one to be harder on herself than she is on others, Penny. It's a trap we clergy fall into far too easily. Next Sunday's reading (for us) from Colossians is all about bearing with one another. I think we also have to bear with ourselves and our own unreal expectations.
Ray Barnes said…
I think we all judge ourselves and find ourselves wanting. It is human to want to be always the best we can, but also rather unrealistic.
Most of us at our best are rather splendid and fairly awful most of the time.
That's what being human is about and thank heavens, there is only one judge at the end of of the day.
Ray Barnes said…
P.S. Love the duckling:-)
Thanks, Perpetual - you are right. Unreal expectations!
Thanks, Ray - being human is complex. I am usually an optimist with a sunny disposition, but when I get down on myself, I turn into something else altogether.