A Lenten Dilemma
About this time of Lent, toward the end of the first week, I tend to wonder if I'm going to be able to keep my focus. My discipline has not become habit yet even as I have tried to be more disciplined. I struggle with whether or not I should be blocking out the quotidian habits as well - reading/listening to the news, doing chores, reading non-self-improving books, being lazy on my day off. Because they distract me into forgetting about what I want to do during Lent.
This year I find myself facing another issue: a sense of fatigue and vague depression about the world. I can hardly stand to listen to the radio news. The focus, yet again, on birth control and anything else that gives people (actually, male people for the most part) an excuse to rant on and on about their basic disapproval of other people's sexual behavior, real or imagined, is almost beyond my comprehension. There are people dying out there and somebody is worried that some woman somewhere is having some kind of illicit sex and not "paying" for it. Children are living in poverty and somebody wants to make sure that their mother suffers for having had them in the first place. Women are being discussed and legislated about as if they "aren't in the room" and certainly aren't capable of making their own decisions about their families and fertility and their own health. It all makes me kind of crazy mad and yet I want to give up ranting for Lent.
And so I am torn. I don't want to look and hear all this. I am just so tired of it. But I don't want to put my head in the sand. And I especially don't want to use Lent as an excuse to focus on a "spirituality" that eschews the real world of God's people all around me.
Lord, have mercy upon us.